Reframing Thoughts on “Negative Cards”
Let’s talk about some of those cards. You know which ones. Just the name or artwork alone can put people immediately on edge when they don't know a thing about tarot:
And, if you do know a little something about tarot:
Ok . . . Let's just agree that when I pull cards, there are a lot of stabby stick cards that can stay the heck away from me.
But I'm not one to ignore the cards. I don't give myself any excuses. It wasn't a bad shuffle, cards CAN jump, and if it comes up in a reversed position, then I'm meant to get the message that way. That doesn't mean that I have to let what might have been intended to be a meaningful, uplifting reading become overshadowed by doom and gloom.
Let's set the stage for this in a psychological sense before I dive into the spiritual side. What I am talking about is cognitive reframing. In this laymen's terms, cognitive reframing is the practice of recognizing our thoughts or feelings that may be negative, inaccurate, or harmful to us and sitting with them for a closer look. Oftentimes, if we are honest and vulnerable with ourselves, we can replace those thoughts or feelings with ones that are more genuine and actionable.
If you are gifted, like me, with the joys of anxiety, this will be a familiar example. It could be anything, but for the sake of simplicity, we will say that you ran late to a planned event. You may start off with some mild, uncomfortable thoughts.
“Of course, I’m the last one to show up. HOW EMBARRASSING. They’re all looking at me.”
Sounds familiar? I thought so. Let's kick it up a notch as you try to settle in.
“I’m such a mess! Why can’t I get it together? Nobody else managed to screw up like this!”
Uh-huh. I'll keep going. As the evening goes on, you start to imagine judgemental glances from others. Maybe even the cold shoulder feeling from the host.
“They are never going to invite me again. They totally hate me!”
Ok. Let's call it right there. Imagined Social Time of Death, called. You see how easily we can begin to catastrophize things. And yes, some don't fall victim to this mentality (lucky bastards), but many do to varying degrees. The practice of cognitive reframing in this example might look like this:
“Of course, I'm the last one to show up. HOW EMBARRASSING. They’re all looking at me.”
becomes:
“Oh, wow! Everyone IS looking. Maybe they were worried I wasn't going to make it. I'm glad I did!”
“I'm such a mess! Why can't I get it together? Nobody else managed to screw up like this!”
becomes:
“Everyone has days like these where they can't stay on track. Today is my day.”
“They are never going to invite me again. They totally hate me!”
becomes:
“They will understand and forgive me, even if they might have been irritated by my running late. I will be sure to apologize privately before I go.”
That is an example of cognitive reframing. It's not sugarcoating. It's not lying to yourself. It's not allowing things to go to extremes in your head or distort the truth. It's assessing the situation honestly, humanizing it, and allowing yourself to take corrective action if warranted. So, how can we put this into practice in tarot?
SO GLAD YOU ASKED!
Reframing a perceived negative card isn't much different from doing so with your thoughts and feelings. Let's grab a few of those cards I listed up top, and we can take a go at cognitive reframing for them in a reading.
The Tower:
A lot of time and energy is wasted on what if-ing and waiting for a proverbial shit-storm to hit. Agreed? The Tower card showing up says: look no further; it's coming soon, or it's here! While you may feel powerless at first seeing this card and hearing its interpretation, you can regain a semblance of your power because you now know and can prepare for the fallout. While that may feel like cushioning the blow, you take what you can get some days! And for me, I'd rather brace for that rather than let my thoughts spiral out of control with no reframing of this card.
The Devil:
Nobody likes to have their bad choices put on blast. The Devil card tells us that we are allowing ourselves to fall victim to sins, vices, and harmful ways in some shape or form. Read that more carefully and see if you catch it. ALLOWING OURSELVES. Yep, there's your reframing and the return of power to you. Remind yourself that even though you may have made some errors in judgment in the past, you can step away from those things in the present and future. Hell Daddy here is throwing you thee biggest red flag, so you can choose to swipe left...or whatever the apps have you do these days. UNSUBSCRIBE.
Death:
First and foremost, I want to let you know that this card does not necessarily mean literal death. It means the end of something so that something new can begin. While a chapter in your life coming to a close may bring sadness and possibly fear of the unknown, reframe this card to view it as more of an evolution. You cannot move forward on your journey of life while standing still. We graduate from school so that we can take our steps into adulthood, right? You are absolutely allowed to feel grief in what you are losing but know that many great things may lie ahead.
5 of Cups:
This card puts us in a position surrounded by guilt, sadness, and despair. Our emotions can overwhelm us at times when this card makes an appearance. How can you possibly reframe that in a healthier way? You can't. But you also don't hide from it. I have referred to this card (with friends) as a "have a funeral for your feelings" card. I know that sounds derisive, but I really mean it. Arrange a viewing; look at what is happening/has happened and why you feel this way. If you are experiencing a loss in any regard, acknowledge it and the time spent in your life. If you don't acknowledge these things, it doesn't make them less true or not occurring. It just denies you the opportunity to have the closure you need. Once you have had your showing of sorts, it's time to lay it all to rest. Know that standing there, weighed down in despondency, is over, and the time for you to move ahead begins.
3 of Swords:
Pain, heartache, and disappointment. This card isn't pretty or comfortable by any means. It's definitely a tough one to try to reframe! Like the 5 of Cups, your best bet is to face things head-on, learn what lessons you can, and begin healing. You may want to shift your thoughts to how you will approach things differently in the future and thus find yourself stronger and better prepared.
9 of Swords:
This card brings about feelings that I'm all too familiar with and familiar with reframing. The 9 of Swords brings overwhelming, "what-if" energy, allowing anxiety to control your life. When this happens, you must challenge these thoughts. Think logically; does what you are so stressed over really stand a good chance of happening, or are you just imagining the worst? If your fears are reasonable, focus on problem-solving rather than staying in fear and dread mode.
10 of Swords:
If you combine the heaviness of the 5 of Cups with the pain of the 3 of Swords, that's the vibe of the 10 of Swords. You may be able to find other ways to reframe this one depending on your circumstances, but my go-to is simply to remind myself that this is not a safe place to dwell. I can acknowledge the end of something - even the disastrous end of something - and feel what I need to feel about it, but I'm damn sure going to do that as I move away from it and towards a healthier place to plan my next steps
I hope that you are starting to get the picture. You may not always love the message that spirit brings you, but you have control over what you let your feelings get away with, what you do with the information, and if you will do anything about it. Tarot is meant to be empowering, giving us insight and allowing us to choose if we wish to continue to head in the direction we are. If you don't like the cards you are dealt, then step off the path you are traveling and start making different decisions.
While I may always have big feels about those stabby stick cards, in the end, I know that I choose how deeply I allow them to cut me.